A middle-aged female came in to the ED one evening complaining of “bugs drilling in my ass”. She said that for a few weeks now she’d felt these “bugs” drilling and it was making her crazy. It started shortly after having sex with her husband. It was so bothersome, she went to Toys-R-Us and bought a microscope to better evaluate them. She obtained a sample (don’t ask me how) of the “bugs” and put them on the slide. Then she saw them: orange glowing bugs with blue mechanical legs. Clearly concerned, she took things into her own hands. She purchased some “Raid” insect spray and has been spraying her butt with it everyday. Oddly, now she’s having even more pain and irritation.
Oh, and the bugs are still drilling.
This was an entry from my first blog, back in 2006. At the time, I was an ER doctor with a blog called Hallway Four and I had about fifty “followers”, which I thought was pretty impressive given that many of them were not my family or friends. The blog is still up, by the way, preserved for all of eternity on a WordPress account in the sky.
I’ve contemplated getting back into blogging for awhile, but everything I loved about it seemed like a nostalgia that wouldn’t quite work in this new day and age. Also, rather than being an eager-beaver Emergency Medicine resident, overflowing with stories of rectal foreign bodies and close calls with death, I am now an established anti-aging and regenerative “Sex and Skin” physician who hasn’t pulled a screwdriver out of a rectum or brought someone back from the brink of death in eight years. What would a blog at this point possibly look like?
Honestly, I’m not quite sure. Favorite topics of mine include Sex, Skin, and Longevity. Sometimes, that may look like Top Ten Tips for More (and better!) Nocturnal Erections! Other times, it may be a rigorous debate (with myself) about the risks vs benefits of Rapamycin as an anti-aging tool. Or, occasionally, maybe it’s just a (true) story about imaginary post-coital anal bugs that is really a round-about way of reminding you that there’s nothing funny about Sex and Skin… except, of course, when there is. 🙂